those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
