What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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