Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
