How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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