So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
