Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
