she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
