I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
