I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
