gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
