I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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