Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Randomize
