I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm both gender and math confused
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
