HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
