Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
