she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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