We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
