I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize