Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
