hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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