I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
