You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
