Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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