she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
