she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
