Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
