Kiss
Puke
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
