so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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