my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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