if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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