Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
