saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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