Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize