I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
