Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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