so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
