It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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