Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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