ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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