We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
