New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
