we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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