He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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