You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I love you.
Bad choice
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize