he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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