my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
