Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize