i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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