Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
