HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
