How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
