At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
foreskin is a definite game changer
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
