I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
