There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
