I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
