Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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