We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
