it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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