I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
